Shark Movie Aficionado

I’ll freely admit to anyone who asks – I LOVE a bad movie. There’s nothing better than sitting down on a weekend night, with some friends, some snacks and mocking the hell out of a terrible B (or lower) movie. Amongst my friend group, we are especially fond of bad shark movies. People who think that Sharknado is bad have never sunk to the depths of movies that we have.

Inspired by the fact that I watched the trailer for Sharknado 3 today, I present to you my rankings of the five best (worst) shark movies that I have watched (thus far).

5. Ghost Shark

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Oh Ghost Shark. I don’t even know where to begin. Basically, a fisherman kills a shark, it and it returns as a ghost to enact revenge. However, the catch is that shark can show up wherever there is water – including swimming pools AND even a glass of water. It’s so bad, its amazing.

4. Jersey Shore Shark Attack

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At the height of Jersey Shore mania, some film company (thanks, pals) felt it necessary to make a shark movie that parodied the tv show of the same name. Ever had a vendetta against Snooki or Pauly D? Watch this movie and watch their close, but not quite, counterparts get taken out by some spray tan and t-shirt time loving sharks.

3. Megashark vs. Crocosaurus

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That’s right friends, a giant shark versus a half crocodile, half dinosaur hybrid of destruction. The ‘star’ of this masterpiece is no other than Mr. Jaleel White himself.  The best part of the film is the speed in which the beasts move across the globe.  One minute they’re in Africa, the next they’re destroying the Panama Canal. You’ll REALLY have to turn your brain off to make sense of this gem.

2. Two-Headed Shark Attack

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When this film stars Brooke Hogan (daughter of Hulk) and Carmen Electra as a SCIENTIST, you know this one is just golden. You guessed it, the villain in this one is a 2 headed shark with an intense blood lust (don’t they all).

1. Sand Sharks

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Another movie “starring” Brooke Hogan, this one probably has the most insane plot line of all the shark movies. That being, the sharks can defy the laws of physics and jump through the sand as if it were water. It makes no logical sense, the acting is atrocious, and I couldn’t love it any more. It comes with my highest bad shark movie recommendation.

Special shout out – Piranhaconda (half piranha, half anaconda) has a ‘twist’ ending that you won’t see coming and if animals really aren’t your thing, might I suggest Stonehenge Apocalypse.  I’ve watched so many of these movies I’m not entirely sure if I know what a ‘good’ movie even is anymore.

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